AuntyB and Grandmama

Magda Gerber Walked With Me

A Tribute to Magda Gerber & Her Respect Philosophy for Infants

One day, Magda really walked hand in hand with me. She gave me her undivided attention and interest. I prize that moment of understanding as she applied it to me.  My life and that of the children of my heart are blest by the life Magda Gerber gave to the world.

Magda is gone. But her endearing, unwavering respect for infants lives in the eyes of observant educarers all over the world. Now, I give Magda's truths about infancy to you.

Who is an educarer? It is the person who educates while caring for infants and toddlers. Educarer was coined by Magda Gerber. She brought child caregivers to her home in Silverlake, California, to study about infants. Her organization, RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers), was quartered there.  RIE is a place to learn about the essence of the human mind from infancy. And Magda, herself, was in tune with babies, their minds and their right to freedom of movement.

Magda's legacy for me lives on in my life everyday. She continues to make a difference in my life with others:

• Now, I listen more carefully to those in my care.
• I think before I act.
• I let the children move freely.
• I try hard not to set goals for them, but let them lead in indoor and outdoor play in safe environments.

Magda taught me to respect the child, wait for a response and to reciprocate. It is a life lesson of respect --a two way street of listening to, responding to and waiting for a response from the child from the very beginning.

In listening and waiting for a response, then we can reciprocate, give back information, acknowledge feelings and share the richness of being special individuals.

This I pass on to you. It is a treasure for raising your own child and for caring for others in your life.

Forever Grateful, Magda,

Beth Hester, Educarer (and AuntyB)

 

About AuntyB and Grandmama

We two sisters, AuntyB and Grandmama, were born and have lived most of our lives on the Texas Gulf Coast. Sometimes we're joined by Grandpa who has a perspective all his own.  This photo is the three of us celebrating a birthday on the deserted St. Jo's Island in the middle of winter.   Shelling and birding in the Texas winter sun. Life is for the living!

 

AUNTYB 

AuntyB, Beth Hester, has had an abiding interest in and love for children for the past 45 years. She's a teacher -- Montessori Certified Infant and Toddler and Elementary, a RIE associate, a gardener specializing in Texas natives, a Texas Master Naturalist, and an RN with extensive experience in school nursing, home health and hospice services.  She's been the charge teacher of a Montessori Infant & Toddler program at a private school. None of that describes her well.

She's loved children all her life and is now fulfilling a dream -- pouring all her love and experience into loving and caring for one child, my granddaughter, her great-niece, during the first formative years of her life.  She is, to quote our mother, "putting feet to her prayers" and her education.

Beth (AuntyB) studied under the Resources for Infant Educarers program in Silverlake, California, with Magda Gerber and Associates.  She shares the wishes of Magda Gerber that parents would relax and enjoy their child. Magda was and continues to be a prime influence on her life and thinking.

She also credits Grace Hively, North Harris Community College, with sharing her profound knowledge of the Montessori Infant and Toddler. Grace's influence cannot be ignored.

Professionally, Beth holds a BS in Nursing from Baylor University, a BS in Agriculture from Sam Houston State University, is AMS certified in Elementary and Infant and Toddler, and is a RIE Associate.

Beth has held workshops and inservice trainings for caregivers in Texas and is available for that as her schedule allows. (Please use the Ask AuntyB to contact her.)

As she follows the child, our grandchild right now, she chooses to share her understanding of the young child through these Internet offerings to parents and potential caregivers and educarers.

GRANDMAMA 

I am Grandmama, writing under the pen name Sarah Hester.  That's really a lot to live up to.  Sarah Hester was born near San Antonio and moved to Seabrook, Texas, in the early 1900's.  She was an educator, but mostly our grandmother, who taught us to love people and culture and learning.

As a grandmother myself now, having raised three daughters from the 1970's through the new millineum, I've been that first teacher to my own children.  My own education was long in coming, 31 years to my BA in Visual Arts from the University of Houston -- Clear Lake. I'd have left nothing undone for my girls to have completed it sooner.

With that new degree in hand, I am in my fourth year of teaching Math to 8th graders!

 St. Joseph Island, off the coast of Texas near Rockport.

Please add your comments (though we do screen for propriety and occasionally edit for clarity) and share your experiences!  The different perspectives are what makes this all work.

We hope to be able to respond to your posts! But, first things first for us all: children and grandchildren, nieces, nephews,  great-nieces and great-nephews!

 

Vacations with Toddlers

Grandmama:

In Facebook, one of my friends posted their weekend plans: taking their two children, ages 1 and 4, on a weekend trip. She was looking forward to it. The children were excited. 

Then, the Monday after: "Monday again? YUCK! Had a busy weekend. ________ was.......ok? Very hard to travel with kids."

I'm sharing my response with you:

"My mother, wise woman that she was, said not to take the kids "places" until they were 8. 

My sister, Auntie B, says that taking them often to low-key local places, like parks--which become their parks, their fun memories with you are 

Toddler Brainstorming

AuntyB: The toddler turning preschooler wants so much to enter into conversation. Observing others for months talking around and over them creates a burning desire to be a part of this social system.

In the same way their body moves from one activity to another with brief, intense focusing, so does mind and speech. Can you jump, Mom? Can you jump, Dad? Besides giving directions, showing how and teaching, it is time to refine your tactics and follow the child's thinking.

It is tremendous fun for you and your child as you take time to really listen and let the child lead.

Perhaps your little one will say: "Joe Joe barked at me."

You may respond, "JoJo was telling you hello."

Child: "I don't like loud barking."

Parent: "It hurts your ears?"

Child: "Yes." Pause. "I had couscous for lunch."

Infant Language Development Tips

Language from Infancy and Beyond

AuntyB: Up until the age of two and a half years, your child receives all of the language and words you give out. The first words begin to emerge as consonant and vowel sounds become possible with the tongue, mouth and brain connection. To hear "mama" and "dada" for the first time is a miraculously overwhelming experience for the parent who has waited so long.

It is important from birth to talk to your infant:

• Hold them close.
• Make eye contact.
• Use adult language.
• Use full sentences.

It is an amazing opportunity to give your child the world in words and communication.

Heading to the Montessori School

AuntyB:  The previous two posts, Getting Ready for Montessori School  and Preparation for Montessori School, covered the homestones to prepare your child for the classroom. Many, many experiences are learned in group settings. Keep up the positive and talk with your child's teacher about how to redirect the negatives.

Communication is the key to success. School is at its best in a Parent / Teacher endeavor. Never let anything escalate. Always address concerns without criticism in order to keep your child on the inside track of learning, growing and developing to their fullest potential.

Grandmama: These final words from AuntyB are mostly advice for parents as you enter the next phase of life with your child, sharing him or her with another role model, mentor and teacher. You are their first and last teacher; you've a lifetime job. Those words will help you in dealing with the newcomer in your lives.

As she's written about Montessori school, AuntyB is not making an assumption that preschool is the "best" thing for your child. She's leaving that up to you. As a grandmother--still a mother, though my children are now parents, too--I have firm opinions on this.

Toddler Preparation for Montessori Schools

AuntyB: There are eight more homestones (routines, activities and manners) that you need to be teaching and modeling in order for your child to be ready for a Montessori school. While fairly specific, these same homestones also refer to readiness for any preschool.

1.  Toilet Learning.  Your child has learned to toilet on their own, including wiping and pulling on own underwear and outerwear.

2.  Dining.  Your child dines independently, using utensils and sitting quietly at the table. We've a whole category on dining with your toddler, if you need help.

3.  Fine Motor. Your child can engage in table activity. This means carrying work to a table and putting it away. This may, of course, need minor supervision and reminders.

4.  Dressing. Your child can put on their own coat and shoes. They may need help with closures. If the school uses uniforms, start out dressing your child in uniform at least one week before school starts.

5.  Language and Manners. Your child makes requests respectfully.  For example, "May I use the scissors now?" instead of demanding "I want --or need-- !" This requires lots of modeling at home with respectful request of the child. Your egocentric two year old is growing into a dynamo, learning child who also must share time and materials with others.

Turning 3 -- Getting ready for Montessori School

My toddler is turning three. She is very independent but sometimes reverts back to dependence. Where should she be in order to gain successful entry into a Montessori 3 - 6 year old classroom?

AuntyB:  I prefer to look at certain rites of passage as homestones rather than milestones. Developmental milestones are rigid, time-related tasks that are expected and agonized over if not achieved as the book dictates.

Homestones
Homestones are tasks and routines that are developed over the first three years of life. They come about according to the child's readiness to imitate your modeling. Whatever routine you have set up with the child will determine the tasks that will be accomplished by three years of age.

A Word about Routines
A routine day is one which has unfolded with the child's rhythm of development. It changes slowly over a period of time as the child matures and takes on more responsibility for self-care. Routine allows a sense of safety and stability. Knowing what is going to happen -- and when -- empowers the child to take ownership of the day and the expected time frames for activities.

What makes a successful daily routine? Keeping the routine the same, the same, the same.

Interrupting the day with changes like skipping nap time, late lunches, overstimulating activities will throw the child off routine for days, perhaps a week. If your child is entering a Montessori environment, there will be a set routine to the day which must be adapted to and complied with. Normalizing (getting used to a routine) takes a while. If you have a routine at home, the you have th3e first homestone under your belt. If not, try at least three months prior to entry into school to have a morning routine that does not vary.

AuntyB Hint:  See what the routine is at school and begin to tailor your time slots at home to match that at school.  For example:

• 7 am  Get up and get dressed
• 7:30  Breakfast
• 8:00  Morning Songs -- sitting together on a circular rug
• 8:15 - 9:15  Indoor Table Work
• 9:15 - 9:30 Snack at a table
• 9:30 - 10:30 Outdoor Play
• 11:00 Lunch
• 11:45  Nap

Grandmama:  There it is from one well-qualified and experienced educator to you, dear parent.  Here it is from one generation to the new generation of parents: Not setting up established routines and expectations for your children, along with household responsibilities, is setting yourself and your children for struggles, both now and in the long run. How long? Like through the teenage years and beyond.

You must teach them these skills but gently and through modeling.

My toddler is too, two slow!

Help! I'm out of patience. My toddler is two slow. We never manage to meet any deadline on time any more.  How can I hurry things along?

AuntyB: Take your too slow two year old to Grandmama's or AuntyB's. They have just put on their brakes to their fast-paced lifestyle, trading it in for more deliberate slow-quality moments.  That's why Grandmamas, Auntys and Grandbabies mesh so well.

Both prioritize willfully the enjoyment of small magical successes. All are fiercely independent.They do not want anyone to take over their challenges. There is this mutual understanding. Each allows the other space to unfold and time.

You also need a break!  Recognize that. Your two year old must accomplish goals according to an individual personal inner time frame.  They can not be pushed. Rushing ends up in a tantrum disaster or a passive dependent child.

Give up rigid time schedules or get some outside help when you must meet your own deadlines. You need time to be. Call Grandmama or AuntyB. They remember when you were two and two slow.

I applaud your patience as your little one is working so hard at being independent.

Grandmama: Oh yes. I remember when the Mother's Day Out teacher lovingly told me that she thought of our middle daughter as "The Poky Little Puppy." It wasn't a problem for them or her. And three years later it wasn't a problem with her Kindergarten teacher who said she had the longest attention span of any child she'd ever seen.

But getting out of the house on time. Whew.

Ten Miracle Dining Tips for Toddler Twos!

Grandmama: Because AuntyB deals every day with her two year old charge in her own home, you may be sure that the advice she's giving isn't just from her education (though she is certified in more than one discipline for early childhood) or her experience in leading infant-toddler classes and designing those environments.

If you haven't tried these ten tips, you're in for a wonderful surprise.  Some of them take dedication on your part, but the results in your child's life is worth it.  These tips lead to lifetime skills, not just the convenience of the moment.

AuntyB's Ten Miracle Toddler Dining Tips:

1. Use heavy crockery white divided plate. It can be microwaved and doesn't alter the flavor of food, as does plastic. There is an added benefit of using a heavy divided plate with deep dividers: It is not easily moved accidentally on the table and spilled. If the dividers are deep, there is more success in both spooning and spearing food with a fork because there are sides to push against.
2. Cut down portion sizes to three level tablespoons for fruits and vegetables. That's it as a serving for a two year old. You'll be amazed when you look at a measured serving. This is in keeping with recognized standards.
3. Keep each food separate from the others. (Casseroles are for later on.) It is confusing to a toddler to mix flavors, for the most part and most will refuse presentation of mixed foods, for example, mixed vegetables.