He has so many toys, I don't know what to eliminate and what to keep.
AuntyB: There is an easy way to determine what toys have an appeal and challenge to your toddler. Try a usage study:
- Make a list of every toy that is in the playroom.
- Sit down and observe for a 30 minute period of play in the morning and a 30 minute play period in the afternoon. Do not interact with your child; just observe.
- Each time your child engages with a toy make a tally mark on your list.
The results will be surprising and very helpful. If you can't believe the results, make further observations to see if there is the same pattern.
Then, keep out 12 toys that are favorites. Box up the rest. (More coming on how to organize excess toys.
Set up your toddler shelf with six toys. Add one additional toy every two weeks until there are twelve pieces to choose from. By then, you and your child will have found it desirable to keep the shelf organized after each play session. It cuts down on Mom's work and makes a pleasant place to return to.
Books, Art and Music are separate entities from toy shelf work, as is outdoor play. Remember, a toddler's main work is practical life and gross motor.
Time spent in relating practical life skills is far more interesting and compelling to the toddler. Loading the dishwasher, folding and carrying clothes, dressing and dining are activities that need careful attention and plenty of time to develop.
What's cooking in the kitchen usually takes precedence over any toy. The child who is included in practical life experiences with the adult is most fortunate. The toddler's sensitivity and inner desire is to learn about the real life going on around. An adult who can take time to allow and share life experiences with the child provides rich learning that a few entertaining toys can never achieve.
Be proud to be that wonderful adult who can make life full for the next generation. It takes devotion, patience and a sense of humor. The return is incomparable in seeing the child grow into a successful individual meeting life and challenges head on.
Toys have their place. Building relationships last a lifetime or more as your child carries those values on to others.
Grandmama: Because you may be tired from working inside or outside the home (or both), there will be a tendency to see toys or television as a diversion to keep your little one occupied. You think that you've got to get things done. Or, you just can't do another thing.
People are more important than things. Your toddler is one of the most important people of all.
If you don't have the time or energy, it may be because your lifestyle is more important than your family. The two aren't the same. It is far better to do what's necessary to reduce your standard of living, and to reduce the amount of outside work you're doing, and devote that time to your family.
There will never, never be another day just like today with your precious little one.
Having extra time with your children can drive you nuts, though. You need to know what's developmentally appropriate and what they're capable of. It requires just as much effort as that work for which you receive payment.
In the process, you'll learn the value of true quality time. I've found that quality time only comes in quantity time. You have to be present and accounted for to "seize the moment." You need the leisure to allow your toddler to process, to become the person spiritually, physically and mentally that he's called to be.
It's the rare AuntyB who will stand in that place for you. Most caregivers focus only on health and safety, sometimes dubiously at that.
If you absolutely must take that time away from your child, at least put aside the outside pressures when you're with him. Be present in the moment, deliberately shunting away other concerns. Create a space, if not an ocean, of peace. It's what you do when you're at work, anyway.
You can do it!
Should you follow this same guideline (6 toys, slowly adding more to shelf) with more than one child? Would it be a toddler shelf with 12 toys that grows to 24? That seems like far too many (although there are about 30 toys scattered around our house right now). My son is 3 and a half, my daughter just turned two.
Posted by: Veronica | February 12, 2010 at 04:36 PM